Tangled up!

Whatever I am trying to accomplish in the future must come along with my parents' blessings so that I am forever under their consent, support and bless..

Or so I thought.

I was in a sweet perfect vacation last few days. I accompanied my mum to a convention in Port Dickson. The gentle breeze of the ocean, the calming effect of the melodious waves, the perfect sunset-watching indulgence; I haven't had my private time i.e. doing nothing, for quite a long time.

As how I thought I would finally had my peace of mind, with a notebook in my hand, a pen in the other, the serene ocean view had helped me out with lots of plans and projections.

Not until I overheard my mum's talking with her other friends..

'I didn't want her to go to KL'
'Baru je ada tempat nak bermanja kat rumah'
'Baru je duduk rumah 2 bulan'
'Mana ada teman dekat rumah dah'


Erk!
I thought what she had wanted was the other way around.

There I go.
Another rigmarole nightmare happened in the naked daylight time.
Put myself back into another tangle of confusions.

I didn't put the blame on my mum.
Any mother would love to have their children around.
Especially when the children had been away from home for so long.

I didn't know what to say.

I stared at the ocean, secretly wished that some solutions might pop up from waves or written somewhere on the sand.

I do wished I can please myself and all at the same time, I can be able to take a very good care over my mum's feelings.

Which is quite impossible in my condition.


Probably going back to KL is not a very good idea after all.


A daughter has to put her mum's needs first, under whatever circumstances she is in.


I'll only exacerbate the whole situation if I stick to my plan.
Without a mum's bless, any human can't achieve greatly in life.


I love you, mak.
I think I'll stay.